The person of happy joy on “ whole world has everywhere, why be short of me only 1? This libretto uses ” on the body of the person of marital tragedy, it is to suit again really but. Actually, these are having the person of tragic marriage, why can turn into which about, oneself also does not understand even them.
I do not know oneself why the life is so bitter, very difficult married a person, think to be able to change the carry outward appearance of oneself, who knows marriage in have facts one wishes to hide additionally. If I and Bai Yong come down too, the implied meaning is worn the child that this all one's life also will not have him, is Zuo He Baiyong adopts a child? If be this to depart with Bai Yong, can I go?
As a child I also am needless, my when tragic blessing
The heart has never-failing bitter water, the feel sad that does not know a lot of years 20 should speak of from which, grew …… too
Arrive as a child the eve of the lunar New Year, I also am the person of power of a compliant movement, how does movement power allocate, I also jump at, along movement power distributive the route goes silently. I am born in an ordinary and simple and easy country home, be born as a result of mine, all person in the home is grouchy also, cause can a —— I am a girl. Family person anxiouslies expect a male man up and down, and I this does not suffer enthusiastic gay life to returned insufficient month to drive this to one whole world with respect to in advance. My the economic progress that those who be born to arise to family person is the atmosphere that sinks murkily and massiness is assumed. As a result of insufficient month, be born to be sent into heat preservation box, human body quality is very poor, when 2 months the eve of the lunar New Year, I also am held in the arms to come out to lose by my pa did not have, he says to greaten with my Mom is a fool, be not a patch on loses lose. I am the flesh that the lose on the body of my Mom comes out after all, my Mom heart one soft, collect me stealthily again come home come. I ought to be thanked touch my Mom, otherwise I also do not go up alive now.
Be in my home, my pa has been told calculate, collect my my Mom the husband's family outside I am being sent after coming home, live that is to say 6 years. Till grandmother dies, I feel oneself from beginning to end as orphan. Pa Mom home is returned once more when waiting for me 6 years old in, in the home unexpectedly likely each little brother. The home in those days, father, mother, little brother, any full to me talk, it is that completely like unfamiliar, I am divided helpless, be terrified of that is to say.
I think to return pa Mom beside, oneself also won't resemble an orphan identical be bullied, also do not need to be fear of again. I just make clear Hunan later, I from be born that is to say needless person, my all through the ages did not have had obtained spoken parts in an opera father love and mother love, should not say the in the home is warm more.
Go up elementary school, because I not allow to say common saying is repelled by classmates easily, be bullied by classmates everyday in the school. I am fear of, grievance, come home inform pa Mom, their all through the ages also does not take me seriously highly, do not have person pay attention to I, the handicraft work on they are busy all the time hand, deal with me at will a few, the dot is careful after wanting me. Basic necessities of life is in the environment that is repelled, my disposition is more and more indrawn with the depression. A bit of age appreciably the eve of the lunar New Year, I also am allocated to wash a bowl by pa Mom, wash dress trousers, but little brother all through the ages also must not do chore. I have accident a bit, throw a dish, pa Mom can hit me. The little brother is right I this one give to be in the home suddenly the close elder sister in feels unfamiliar with vigilant, as a result of that is to say of his all through the ages the star in the home, what delicious, of amusing is him completely, also do not have the intelligence that disputes with him.
Go up junior high school next year, if the school makes money, I also am fear of especially, for fear that comes home want to take a beating. Pa Mom did not want me to study again. Seating arrangement of my all through the ages is very compliant head has told “ not ” , I tell me to want to go to school. They say I go to school however luxury of that is to say wastes money. I ever groused why God is so unjust allow, be one's own of my pa Mom? I do not know me to rely on what courage to live to be really nowadays. First 3 when, my rustication, think out to work feed oneself, but pa Mom is different meaning, they want me to work in the home, cook, wash clothes, broom environment is wholesome, what works alive.
I got married really, hope the meeting that marry a person changes my carry outward appearance
In those days, I think all the time, the person was married later probably I am optional also, but, can I do my marriage advocate?
The referenced answer that this one difficult problem proves later is I can not do —— advocate, because arrive as a child the eve of the lunar New Year, my movement power that is to say has been allocated by them. Those a few years, the complete dirty work in the home, tired work is my 1 the individual's thing completely, calculate little brother at a loose end, won't help me help handle, not only in that way, he takes off a dirty clothes trousers that come, dirty sock, get even briefs me to wash. In pa Mom and little brother eye, my girl does this to plant is manage place behoove. The little brother does not take me to should kiss elder sister look upon, want to scold scold, on the mouth absolutely not show mercy. Memory removes , the member that I am not like this one group, be like the unskilled laborer that hires in the home. This any because I am a girl?
My fast is full when 20 years old, pa Mom just began to hold go-between in the palm to help my act as a matchmaker. Actually my heart holds out expectation quickly marry a person, because was not married definitely,the person can change my carry outward appearance. My heart thinks, black and white see lot only. Final, pa Mom the look centralized be in adjacent village white home. Hear, white home has 2 sons, son of the eve of the lunar New Year gets married already in the soil in the home, young son Bai Yong (anonym) work outside, the standard in the home is first-rate still. Mom audition pa speaks of the state of white home, my heart is quite lively, open-armed hope is worn it is the good luck that bout changes my carry outward appearance.
Below the allocation of go-between, bai Yong drives countryside coming home and me to date from the other place, meet only, look at pleasing to the eye each other, although marriage came out surely. That day, mom of white brave pa and he reachs my home betrothal, took 80 thousand yuan of betrothal gifts. My pa Mom has accepted where ministry crowded one crowded when money, basically laugh so that close not approach mouth. Arrive as a child the eve of the lunar New Year, I from did not have the salary with had sufferred that Zuo good, that day, I just feel I am their one's own girl.
The girl of other home gets married, the daughter cries, hate to part with leave a married woman's parents' home, mom cries, hate to part with a daughter to get married. I get married that day, the exceptionally peaceful in the home, do not have somebody lose half tear, asing if is me this one needless person of 20 years is married at long last came out, their heart also was not assumed.
I do not know what to mood is completely when the girl of take one's leave marries a person, the birdie that my mood flies to as putting, I just can begin the life of oneself at long last, also had not needed to take a beating again, the time that get a scolding. I and white brave do get married banquet, he is in the home in did not wait for a few days, came out to work, I also am in the home serve husband's father and mother. I just detect, there is what difference before my basic necessities of life is mixed, Zuo is to wash clothes, cook, take care of family, only is different is, husband's father and mother is honest and kind person completely, wait for me first-rate, identical like close girl, calculating is to work completely, they are taken care of in husband's family I also be most willing to. That moment of have nothing to do of at a loose end, I sit in the prattle in the courtyard with the mother-in-law all the time, liao Baiyong, my heart thinks the thing …… that talks about his hour to await, probably the carry outward appearance that marriage changed me really.
Marriage did not have a favourable turn that produces movement power, have facts one wishes to hide additionally however
He Baiyong get married is fast 3 years, with the child of the sister that be the same as a village that I get married between identical 9 years old, but my abdomen did not have report tardy however. Do you understand? Be here as a child in the home of appearance in be born, I have a cherished desire from beginning to end, I can have future of expectation of that is to say a child, had better be it is a daughter, I must be met love to love her very much very much, must want to let her experience the whole world to go up most the mother love of Wei the eve of the lunar New Year, as a result of me all through the ages did not have experience to pass.
Get married a few years, get together to leave less much, bai Yong is long-term and outer work, I still am in the home also all the time 100 bored, I more looking forward to oneself quickly have a child, without giving thought to the boy, girl, my basic necessities of life one is placed. These a few years, kin basin is friendly people also say with me how abdomen still does not have a message all the time, I look forward to what oneself has a child to feel more and more intense also.
I speak of inner thing with my good sister, she says, because I and Bai Yong are in,did not have estimation of the child on the bosom from beginning to end at the same place between short. I want is this one general principle, be aimed at pregnant thing, I really what does not understand. The end of the year arrives on at the beginning of 2019, white brave demit the job, it is from beginning to end in the home at a loose end, between of large half an year of the eve of the lunar New Year, my abdomen still did not have all newses. I have my feeling, bai Yong ases if however is not want the child, also have husband's father and mother, to the thing, all through the ages also is not carried. This thing puts other home, daughter-in-law is married take the door several years, abdomen does not have a message, husband's father and mother gets pop-up house urgently early. I feel the manner of husband's father and mother is their honest and kind cause from beginning to end, it is me instead instead inner actuating pressure is quite great, sensory oneself fails to be white handed down from the older generations of the family ancestor receive era.
My good sister has been born the child, she persuades me to go to a hospital checking, have difficult problem, look up fall to understand. After coming home, I had said this thing with the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law says to check.
Checking Jian fruit is, my human body any everything is normal, husband of the eve of the lunar New Year offers to let Bai Yong make an inspection to the hospital. Take a door, husband's father and mother and white brave sit in the courtyard, did not have 1 individual conversation, look as if urgent thing is same. Later, I just knew the fact of the thing, get married so a lot of years, also not was pregnant, because Bai Yong presses a root to did not have birth job capacity, his hour is awaited had sufferred bout traumatic those who bring about. Their family person hid that thing when get married.
I do not know oneself why the life is so bitter, very difficult married a person, think to be able to change the carry outward appearance of oneself, who knows marriage in have facts one wishes to hide additionally. If I and Bai Yong come down too, the implied meaning is worn the child that this all one's life also will not have him, is Zuo He Baiyong adopts a child? If be this to depart with Bai Yong, can I go? Return which depressive a married woman's parents' home, never mention it I wish not to agree meaning, perhaps do not have somebody to welcome me ardently. My brains is really extremely random, various farfetched thought is sudden Dou Chong takes mind. Hold back is in the heart is too long, speak with you, my heart loosens easily gently also certain.
The reporter gets a word:
When going to school, it is not OK that the teacher warns student “ person all the time by identical a stone is tripping 2 ” , but in basic necessities of life by identical a thing that stone blunders 2 times however common occurance, this results from about the deep-rooted bad habits in human affection, of tripping oneself is identical normally oneself, congener thing. If say the head is damaged to be innocent by, meeting with next can prevent however.
Now nowadays, over- with but afraid. But adage comes home, follow a set routine always makes marital basic necessities of life more and more decadent, inactive, had wanted the time of what kind of, return so that oneself chooses!